November 23, 2009

The weekend was certainly better than the week. We finished with the ornaments on the tree, only broke one, and baked some more cookies. We made a double batch of chocolate chip cookies and a triple batch of sugar cookies. The sugar cookies got iced and then the girls decorated them for Madison's class. Well, her class and the class next to hers since they co-teach for reading.
The girls got some time with their cousins on Saturday morning while I visited with my sister and my mom. We also got to grill out one of their favorite dinners last night...wings! They love almost everything their Daddy loves to eat. And since I didn't feel like cooking, he got to choose dinner.
Today the girls were at school and I was volunteering with the Kindergarten classes for reading. Tomorrow Chloe will go to school, but I told Madison's teacher that I'm keeping her home tomorrow so she can spend the day with me shopping and eating out.
Then it's no school for 5 days!!! I'm not worried though. I'm going to plan some small activity everyday for the girls, but we're mainly going to be relaxing and enjoying the break without a schedule to keep.
I am really looking forward to Black Friday though! I've missed the last two years, but my wonderful husband took the day off just so I could be out shopping, alone, all morning. I'll hopefully meet up with my mom and sister for lunch and then be home in time to take a nap! I love being one of those crazy people out running around that morning. I'm not really looking forward to the early start, but a little caramel coffee will help pull me through.
I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving and a relaxing long week off of school or work!

November 21, 2009

Well, the school week didn't end any better than it started, but I did at least get some much needed light cast on what may be one of Madison's issue. Her teacher called me Thursday about a lunch issue with Madison. Well, not a lunch issue, a Madison issue because she didn't like her lunch. Her teacher called me to tell me she's a total sucker for Madison and wanted to give her something to eat since she appealed to her softer side complaining and not eating a single thing off her tray...not even apples which she loves.
So, Madison got out of P.E. and got to spend some one on one time with her teacher. Later after school her teacher called me again to tell me Madison said something while sitting there eating that may explain her behavior at home and her getting in trouble for talking in class earlier in the week. Madison mentioned to her that Chloe had been home sick a lot lately and had a lot of time with Mommy. 4 out of 5 days last week to be exact. Catherine asked her if that upset her and Madison said she was jealous. So, she told Madison she should talk to me about it and ask for some special Mommy time if that would make her feel better.
It doesn't necessarily make me feel any better, but it does at least possibly explain why she's been getting into so much trouble. Especially if the whole "negative attention is better than no attention" theory is right. She's certainly been getting some negative attention this week. She got grounded for a week for punching Chloe in the back, had to write sentences for lying about something else and lost her Ipod indefinitely for throwing it.
It's not been pretty around here.
Regardless of the reason or reasons, I just want to put this whole miserable week behind me and move on. It has been such a trying week on my emotions, my energy and my nerves.

My mantra...tomorrow will be better.

November 19, 2009

Lord, grant me the patience to endure my blessings!

I am really having a shitty week as a mom. What I do is either not enough, ill-timed or just plain freaking wrong.
Even if my kids are in school during the day, I'm still the one packing the lunches with healthy food, brushing knots out of their hair, making them put on a jacket, checking the homework, corresponding with the teachers, driving them to dance and girl scouts, volunteering at the school, settling arguements, etc, etc, etc.
If the shoes are too difficult to tie, I'm the one who created shoe laces. If they don't want to wear a jacket, I'm the one who controlled the 45 degree weather in the morning. If the girls pick a fight with each other 5 minutes after stepping in the house after school, I'm the one who gave birth to the other. If homework is tough, I'm the one who planned it, sent it home and wants it back the next day. If Chloe didn't want a banana or water with her lunch, I'm the one putting her on a stricter diet.
I can't win!!!
What's the bigger kick in the pants is that because I get all the crap taken care of before Daddy comes home all he has to do is be the knight in shining armor there for the sole purpose of saving the kids from the mean mommy.
Grrrr.
This week I feel like my only purpose is to be dumped on, blamed for things gone wrong, and to sit in a corner thinking about what I can do better next time.

I wouldn't have thought a 4 and 6 year old could have so much control over my emotions but, again, I would be wrong about something!
This ultra shitty week is a culmination of my kids being extremely picky as well as unappreciative and me being uncommonly sensitive to the crap they're throwing my way.
I would like to think it will all end when the week ends tomorrow, but really, that would be a dim light at the end of a dark tunnel.

I now am holding on to the hope that something comes along to lift my spirits and/or help me look at the bigger picture.
Because right now, I'm not only feeling sorry for myself, but I'm also beating myself up for being such a sissy and feeling sorry for myself.
Dammit.

Tomorrow just has to be better.
I hope this weekend is half as good as last weekend.

November 15, 2009

Chloe's test results all came back normal. I'm bringing her to the doctor tomorrow morning, see if there's anything more we can do for her. It may just be something that needs to run it's course, but Monday will be 4 weeks. That's a long course to be run through.

On a happier note, I quenched a thirst I'd been having lately and it feels so good! On Wednesday I started decorating the house for Christmas. Not the outside, just the inside. The funny little thing that started my Christmas craving was those kids toy books that came in the paper Sunday. Damn those retail stores! I remember as a kid how much I used to enjoy looking through the JCPenny or Sears toybook and just get lost in dreams about all the cool things I wanted. The girls did the same thing with the books that came last weekend and Madison has been looking through them all week.
I also baked cookies with the girls on Wednesday and watched Home Alone.
We baked some more cookies this morning, watched Polar Express and also got some more decorations out of the attic.
The girls are becoming quite the little kitchen helpers.

Chloe learned how to crack an egg.

And she did fantastic!!

When the cookies were baking, Mark spent some time with them with what he enjoys.

Other than that our weekend was filled up with me having a Tastefully Simple party for a friend on Friday night, going to the local zoo/museum with Madison and her Daisy troop Saturday morning and then going down to a neighbor's house Saturday night for dinner and cards. Today was the cookies, decorating and baking. As well as Mark washing and waxing the car and watching some football.
What a wonderful weekend!

November 09, 2009

I kept Chloe home from school today for a fun little day of "collect the poop". I can't begin to tell you how great it was! I can tell you that I'll never be able to look at saran wrap the same way again.
I won't bore you with all the details of her bathroom deposits, but they've been abnormal for about 3 weeks. I called the doctor today to see if it would be safe to give her something over the counter or if I should start some diet changes or if they had any other advice for us. She hasn't had any fever, no loss of appetite, nothing different except she's going about 3 times a day and it's not normal. Instead of suggestions, they have me collecting samples for them to test.
Needless to say, my day was a bit off-kilter. It could have just been complete with having to saran wrap a toilet, but I also didn't volunteer at the school, most of the morning was spent picking up the test tube order form and then the test tubes, we're waiting for tropical storm Ida to grace us, and to end the afternoon the chicken I thought we were having for dinner wasn't in the freezer.
I really hate it when the freezer gnomes take my food and ruin my dinner plans.
Oh, it'll all end just fine. The poop has been collected, we all ate nutritious meals, scratch that, we all ate and we're about to settle in for our weekly Monday night game night.
I'll be wearing my pj's and holding a good book in about 2 hours.
Mark came home safe and sound from work.
The girls won't be any worse for wear.
All is well.

November 06, 2009

It may have been last minute, but we were able to get the girls to a pumpkin patch this year! We haven’t made it to one since moving here and I really couldn’t tell you why.

Madison’s school does an award ceremony after each semester and award kids for Super Citizen, honor roll and perfect attendance. We hadn’t realized she had perfect attendance the first nine weeks, but she did! We promptly ruined her chances for that award in the 2nd nine week period though with our recent trip to Disney. She made A honor roll and got a Super Citizen award! I’m honestly surprised at how well she’s doing in school. I know she’s smart, but things come so easy for her and yet she still complains at how hard it is.
This was her the afternoon of the awards ceremony.

Her school had spirit week last week too and this day was crazy hair day. She really got into the whole spirit week thing. She mainly liked that I colored her hair on hair day and red, red, red day. For some reason I didn’t get a picture of red day though. Well, actually by that day last week I was a ball of stress so I know the reason I didn’t get a picture. More on that later.

The girls kept with their pirate costumes for Halloween and had a great night hanging out with friends and pigging out on candy.

This was them at our door. Mark stays behind and hands out the candy, they even treated him with a not so nice trick or treat song.

The stressful part of my week was concerning our transportation. Back in June we had to put 4 new tires and get new brakes for the truck before heading to my cousins wedding. It wasn’t a big deal because the truck was paid off and was our only vehicle, but still the bill was a big one to choke back. Then over the summer some lights started coming on that couldn’t be explained. After 3 trips into the mechanic putting the truck on their detection machines, nothing could be found wrong. Now, the truck was at 111, 000 miles so it’s done it’s fair share of running, but then last week the transmission went up. By went up I mean it took a while to catch into reverse or drive. I had to crawl my way up to 45 mph and this saga lasted only one day before we were borrowing my parents van. Again, we only have one car, we only need one car, but that one car HAS to be dependable. We got the truck up to the mechanic and got the news we were expecting, but not wanting. So, we made the decision not to pour more money into the truck by replacing the transmission all the while not knowing what will go wrong in another 4 months or so, and put the money toward a new car instead. I am not a vehicle person. I don’t care what I drive as long as it drives. So car shopping for me was like a trip to the gyno. Uncomfortable but necessary. I’m glad the car sitting in my garage works, but I’m not happy we’re back to a car payment again. It sucks quite honestly.

While all this was going on, Mark got a call that his granddad had passed away. Most of his family is in Maryland and while we would have loved to all go up there it just wasn’t feasible. So, Mark flew out yesterday and will be back tomorrow. The girls are not good with change. Madison’s teacher told me she’s feeling the effects of her Daddy leaving. She said Madison has been real needy and seemed consumed with him leaving. All week the girls have been asking endless questions about his trip, the airport, the plane, dinners without him, when he’ll be back, the funeral and everything else concerning these two days he’s gone. They really miss him. Not that I don’t, but there’s so much going on here and he’s only going to be gone two nights, I’m pretty distracted lately. The girls had dance last night, I’m bringing the car to have the windows tinted this morning, we have Chloe’s school festival tonight and they have friends coming over Saturday morning at 7am thank you very much! I’m watching a friends kids while she runs a local 5K. Mark was supposed to run as well since it’s a benefit for fallen law enforcement officer families, but he’s not flying back until Saturday afternoon. We do have a date planned when he gets back though. That same friend is taking the kids for the evening!

So, our last two weeks have been busy, stressful and unfortunate. I’m hoping the next few are different.

October 20, 2009

Another fun Disney trip!

Silly cousins! The girls were very happy to see their cousins.

Chloe's first pin trade!!

A glimpse into the future perhaps?

Grandma and Madison on Aladdin's carpet ride

Poppop and Chloe on the carpet ride

Our pirate girls headed out to Mickey's Not So Scary Halloween Party!

The beginning of the halloween parade

Daddy enjoying a dance party with his girls

Waiting for the fireworks show

The whole gang in front of the castle

The girls got such a kick out of me getting my face painted with them. Madison picked my design and Chloe gets to pick next time.

Can't leave for the night without saying happy halloween to Mickey!

The girls weren't doing bad for 12:45AM!!!

Up bright and early the next day taking advantage of our last morning there. Notice Mark's morning beverage...it helped a little.

Chloe's new favorite ride....Goofy's Barnstormer rollercoaster!

More pressed pennies on this trip as well. Thanks to Nonny and Pops hookin' the girls up with rolls of quarters!
Nothing like paying 51 cents and getting a mangled penny in return

One last happy parade on our way to the exit.

October 08, 2009

Madison's Daisy troop visited a local Fire Station at this week's meeting. The girls seemed to have a great time although there was some disappointment that they didn't have a pole to slide down or a fire dog. As Madison's friend Alysse said, "every fire station has to have fire dog!" Although funny, the creepy 6 foot version wasn't the same to them.

October 07, 2009

I might be crazy. A little crazy is probably ok considering I have kids, but I have no way to judge my crazy level. Honestly, I'd rather not open that pandora's box anyhow.
After crying myself to sleep for four nights and after realizing all the distractions in the world couldn't get my mind off of Bella and the thoughts that I made a huge mistake, I went back and got her.
Yes, I went there. The shelter sure didn't care, it's not like I dropped her off in the dark of the night like my friend thought I did. I'm crazy, not a coward. I gave them all her paperwork, gave her a dose of her flea Rx that day and explained to them through my sobbing, shoulder shaking cries why I was giving her up. So, I just went back and asked if I could get her back. There's not an ounce of doubt in my mind they judged me as crazy. The lady was super sweet, understanding and wished me good luck. A little of my feelings came from the guilt corner, but most of my feelings came from just missing her. No, the girls don't like her and Mark hasn't changed his mind, she is a pain in the ass dog, but she's my pain in the ass dog. I missed having her here so much. In the end it came down to me believing that it's ok for her to just be my dog, it's ok that she won't be considered our family's dog. I love her, she loves us and she belongs here.
I was so happy to be bringing her home. Sure I thought about the circus that was soon to be our home, but it still felt right.
We now have two kids, two cats, one dog and three fish. The cats are curious about Bella, she's curious about them, but so far Bella just tucks her tail as they run around corners teasing her. There have been a couple hisses from the cats as they smell her out, but Bella is handling it like a champ.
Mark is handling it like a champ too. He seems to be ok with my level of crazy.
I fell asleep at 9:30 last night and didn't wake up until 6am! As I said before, everything felt right again.

October 05, 2009

The girls are absolutely in love with their new furry friends! Madison didn't want to go to school today because she was going to miss Daisy. They both got to sleep with them again last night, but after two mornings of the girls waking up at 5:30 I don't see that lasting long.
Daisy is missing Madison as well. The last picture is her waiting on Madison's bed for her while she's at school. Both girls got lots of cuddles with them yesterday and Madison thinks it's so cool that Daisy will listen to her nightly reading.
Aside from the early morning cat alarms, the two buggers are great. I know it's only our third day, but it seems that the cats personalities match up well with the girls too. Chloe's cat Dewey is fiesty, likes to play and chase things while Madison's cat Daisy, is the cuddle bug and wants to do a whole lotta nothing! The picture of Chloe laying on the couch with the cat is actually Madison's cat. The one of Chloe sitting on the floor petting a cat is her Dewey boy. Dewey is also a fan of hiding behind corners and attacking my feet as I walk out of a room. It's so funny. He does know how to cuddle though as he's been curled up in my lap since I started writing this post.

October 04, 2009

There’s been a big change in our family this weekend. After a year of having Bella, I decided to take her back to the pound Friday. If everyone was honest I was really the only one who liked her in the end. Which was apparent after I was the only one who cried. She was a good dog, a great dog for me really, but she just wasn’t good with kids or even groups of people. Her energy rarely ran out and the kids just didn’t ever grow to like her. They (Mark included) liked the idea of her, but not Bella herself. When everyone was gone for the day she was just a normal dog for me. Followed me around, laid at my feet under the table, sat outside under a tree while I did yardwork, rolled over for belly lovin’s and did everything I think a dog should do. She was a different animal for the girls though and visitors. She never scratched or bit them out of meanness, but she was still always scratching and biting them and after a year of having her, the girls still didn’t have any kind of bond with her. When I told them I gave her to another family (yes, another lie in my mommy life) they both cried for a total of maybe two minutes. They both were sad about how much I was crying though and after dinner Friday presented me with two cards saying how sorry they were. But when they went running around the house playing and being kids they weren’t sorry at all to not have Bella biting their hands and scratching their legs. They weren’t sorry to be able to leave their bedroom doors open while they played without worrying about their squeals driving Bella crazy.
As hard as Friday afternoon was for me, I really do know it was the best for the whole family and I know there is a dog out there perfect for all four of us. We’ll find her someday.

On our way home Saturday from a birthday party Chloe went to, the girls and I headed to the pound (a different one) to look at cats. I’m more of a dog person, but I certainly find cats adorable, and after the last year fiasco with Bella I have come to realize the girls personalities are more suited for cats or maybe just an old dog who wants to lay around all day and be loved. I’m a little gun-shy so to speak about bringing home another dog just yet though. They want a playful friend who will also cuddle. The animal’s size may have something to do with it too since the girls aren’t rough and really hated when Bella ran into them knocking them down.
So, after taking a few kittens out of their crates and testing their personalities, the girls fell in love with not just one, but two kittens. They are 5 months old, brother and sister, and they are the most adorable and funny little creatures. They have already accomplished many things including distracting my sad thoughts, making us all laugh with their crazy little antics and as far as cats go, these two are really great. They’re already litter trained, they get along so great with each other, they loved the girls instantly and I hate to admit it, but I can see the girls have more of a connection with them in one evening than they had with Bella after a year. They are so in love!

The girls slept together last night and when Mark went in to check on them, he found both kittens sleeping by Madison. Madison has claimed the girl and named her Daisy (Madison is a Daisy girl scout) and Chloe happily claimed the boy and named him Dewey. She has always liked my parents cats and one of them is named Dewey.

I still miss my Bella girl very much but it was sure great to wake up this morning to these little cuties playing with each other and then purring in my lap.

October 01, 2009

We've had a fantastic weather week! Lows around 50 and high's were at 80. Being able to have the house open and fresh air blowing through encouraged me to get the bed sheets washed, refresh the patio plants and do some general Spring cleaning in the Fall.
I'm waiting for that really windy day though when I can open a few key windows and all those hidden clumps of dog hair will come out of their hiding places. I'm not in the mood to go searching.
Our patio is my favorite place in the house. On Tuesday afternoon we were outside from the minute I got home with the girls until it was time for bath. We played out there, we cooked out there, we ate out there and then we played again. Actually after I got home from volunteering Tuesday morning I was out in the yard until I left to pick up the munchkins. I really do love being in the yard, planting and generally fiddling around out there. I've come to believe our house can never have enough wind chimes or bird stuff. It's so big out back and I still see so much potential! Thankfully Mark has a very easy-going personality. Madison is becoming my little nature appreciation girl. She's starting to pick up caterpillars, even daddy long leg spiders, and when we can't find her, she's on the patio "watching nature" as she says. Both girls love the bird/butterfly garden we did.

Since the plants in there are all new, it's not that filled in, but next summer....look out! The birds already go nuts over there and I have yet to look over there and not see butterflies flitting around. Well, I should take that back. I was out on the patio at 4:30 this morning having my coffee and I didn't see any.

Madison is enjoying school a lot more this past few days. Her class however has gone through a lot of changes for little guys. The original teacher, as you know, went out for maternity leave. Then they had a sub that was supposed to be there for the 6 week duration, but she was offered a full time permanent position at a different school, so her last day was last Friday. No loss at all in my book. I don't usually like to judge teachers because they have a very tough job and honestly I've never walked in their shoes, but I judged her as terrible for teaching a first grade class. She'd be better suited for high school, or maybe a prison guard. A new sub started this Monday and she is fantastic! She is so much like the original teacher and the kids warmed up to her almost immediately. She has a son in first grade and she doesn't take her job too seriously. I think that's very important if you're teaching 6 and 7 year olds. Have fun people!
I know I'm her mom and I'm biased, but Madison is really a good girl in school. At home is a different story, and a different Madison, but at school, she's a serious little student and a smart little peanut. The first day the new sub was shadowing the old sub was last Thursday and I was there volunteering. She came up to me and commented on how helpful Madison is and what a great reader she is. I didn't care what she said, I cared that in one day she seemed more observant than the other sub did in 3 weeks.
Madison is doing much better this week and I'm looking forward to going in to volunteer today since I won't feel like I'm walking on egg shells with the drill sergeant.

My girls are becoming little divas too. Both girls love looking pretty, having hair accessories and wearing jewelry. Madison is a lazy fasionista though. She won't pick out the outfit but she wants me to make her look cute. Chloe on the other hand not only tells me what she wants to wear, but she always matches quite well. She'll search her drawer until she finds socks that match her shirt and she'll only wear the shoes that look good with whatever she's wearing, even if it's just shorts and a t-shirt, her shoes matter to her.

Chloe wanted to wear this hair scarf thing and would not leave the house until I found the missing dress that it went with. I had a different outfit picked out that went just fine with the scarf, but nooooo, it had a specific dress and it had to be found. Thankfully Madison saw it a few weeks back hanging in the extra closet in Chloe's room. Right now that closet is storage and a few random dresses are hanging in there, but I have a feeling Chloe is going to want to claim both closets as she gets older.

Well, I'm off for another morning of fun at Madison's school and then groceries and cleaning. The cooler weather has me inviting people over again so Madison's teacher is bringing over her new little girl tomorrow for a playdate and Saturday we're having a cookout with my friends Melissa and Wendy and their families.
Good stuff!