November 19, 2009
Lord, grant me the patience to endure my blessings!
I am really having a shitty week as a mom. What I do is either not enough, ill-timed or just plain freaking wrong.
Even if my kids are in school during the day, I'm still the one packing the lunches with healthy food, brushing knots out of their hair, making them put on a jacket, checking the homework, corresponding with the teachers, driving them to dance and girl scouts, volunteering at the school, settling arguements, etc, etc, etc.
If the shoes are too difficult to tie, I'm the one who created shoe laces. If they don't want to wear a jacket, I'm the one who controlled the 45 degree weather in the morning. If the girls pick a fight with each other 5 minutes after stepping in the house after school, I'm the one who gave birth to the other. If homework is tough, I'm the one who planned it, sent it home and wants it back the next day. If Chloe didn't want a banana or water with her lunch, I'm the one putting her on a stricter diet.
I can't win!!!
What's the bigger kick in the pants is that because I get all the crap taken care of before Daddy comes home all he has to do is be the knight in shining armor there for the sole purpose of saving the kids from the mean mommy.
Grrrr.
This week I feel like my only purpose is to be dumped on, blamed for things gone wrong, and to sit in a corner thinking about what I can do better next time.
I wouldn't have thought a 4 and 6 year old could have so much control over my emotions but, again, I would be wrong about something!
This ultra shitty week is a culmination of my kids being extremely picky as well as unappreciative and me being uncommonly sensitive to the crap they're throwing my way.
I would like to think it will all end when the week ends tomorrow, but really, that would be a dim light at the end of a dark tunnel.
I now am holding on to the hope that something comes along to lift my spirits and/or help me look at the bigger picture.
Because right now, I'm not only feeling sorry for myself, but I'm also beating myself up for being such a sissy and feeling sorry for myself.
Dammit.
Tomorrow just has to be better.
I hope this weekend is half as good as last weekend.
Posted by Amy at November 19, 2009 01:41 PM
Comments
so sorry! those kind of weeks suck....you need a good night out...wanna run away for a weekend? call me! have credit card and cell phone will travel!
Posted by: Bronwyn at November 20, 2009 11:07 PM